The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.—Carl Jung
In the crucible of relationships, we sometimes slip into the skins of those who shaped—or scarred—us. These psychological ‘valences’ are introjected voices of authority or abuse that hijack our authenticity, replaying old scripts in new scenes. When unrecognised, these masks corrupt our interactions and drown out our true selves. This exercise illuminates those borrowed personas so you can reclaim your genuine voice.
Core Ideas:
- Valences are introjections of other people’s attitudes or voices, adopted unconsciously.
- These shadow personas distort perception, fuelling conflict and self-betrayal.
- Naming and witnessing valences dissolves their grip on your behaviour.
- Reclaiming your identity requires compassion, boundary-setting, and conscious choice.
Shadow Writing Prompts
Prompt 24a: Spotting the Mask
Recall a recent interaction where you felt ‘played’ by an internal role, not your authentic response, but someone else’s voice or manner. Describe who you were channelling (parent, teacher, bully), what you said or felt, and how it contrasted with your true self.
Prompt 24b: Trigger Analysis
Identify the trigger that shifted you into that valence: criticism, fear, power dynamics, or unresolved pain. Describe the moment the mask descended and the emotions that surfaced, like shame, rage, or compliance.
Prompt 24c: Witnessing the Shadow Persona
Write a dialogue between your true self and the valence character, giving each a voice. Ask the persona what it’s trying to protect or achieve. Listen to its rationale without judgement, then thank it and reaffirm your own stance.
Prompt 24d: Reclaiming Authenticity
Design a practice to interrupt future valence shifts: a grounding phrase, a physical gesture, or a mental anchor. Specify how you’ll notice the mask slipping on and how you’ll return to your authentic voice in that moment.
Free yourself from worn-out roles. Remove the mask and claim the stage of your own creation.
