The healthy individual does not torture others—generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.—Carl Jung
Self-love and narcissism wear similar masks: both centre on the self. But one is an open palm of compassion, and the other a clenched fist of self-obsession. Self-love heals wounds, fosters empathy, and expands your capacity to give and receive. Narcissism, born from enmeshment and fear, erects walls of superiority, dismisses others, and perpetuates inner emptiness.
Core Ideas:
- Self-love is grounded in respect, growth, and empathy; narcissism in fear, scarcity, and control.
- We all embody narcissistic traits. Awareness is the first step towards balance.
- Healing narcissistic wounds requires embracing vulnerability and imperfection.
- A growth mindset transforms a scarcity-based ego into a flourishing heart.
Shadow Writing Prompts
Prompt 8a: Mapping the Spectrum
Reflect on moments when you practised genuine self-care: setting boundaries, celebrating progress, or showing yourself kindness. Contrast these with times you slipped into self-centredness or sought admiration at another’s expense. What motivations underlie each? How did these behaviours impact your relationships and inner peace?
Prompt 8b: Triggers of the Ego
Identify the wounds or insecurities that ignite your narcissistic tendencies: fear of inadequacy, craving approval, or rejection sensitivity. Describe a recent incident when such a trigger surfaced. How did you respond, and what did it teach you about your unmet needs?
Prompt 8c: Embracing Imperfection
Narcissism demands perfection; self-love embraces flaws. List three imperfections you’ve long denied or defended against. For each, write a brief mantra that honours its lesson (e.g., ‘My doubts teach me humility’). How does forgiving these parts deepen your compassion for yourself and others?
Prompt 8d: Cultivating Abundance
Set three growth-oriented intentions that counter scarcity and control, practices that foster empathy, gratitude, and authentic connection. Describe each goal in concrete terms and plan one daily or weekly ritual to reinforce it. How will you measure your shift from self-obsession to self-compassion?
Self-love isn’t a destination; it’s a lifelong practice of choosing vulnerability over defence, generosity over entitlement, and healing over grandiosity.
